Two weeks ago I did something I hadn't done in literally years. I decided to go on one of those "tweaker marathons" and binge for as long as I could with no food or sleep. I had just relapsed maybe three weeks ago, so I had completely forgotten what it felt like to stay up past two days. I stayed up fairly long for just having gotten back in the game; I made it up to 6 days with only two 1-hour power naps. Normally I can sleep by day 2, but this time I chose to stay up out of sheer morbid curiosity to enter the realms of insanity. On the end of my 6th day, it had been at least 20 hours since I had taken my last hit, so I was definitely sober. But as I was sitting down playing around on the computer (or MySpace, I’m presuming), something strange happened.
I began getting a very dissociated "buzz," as if I had taken 3-4 valiums or some opioid at once. My first instinct was to go to sleep, but I decided to stay up, because I kind of enjoying this "free" high. My staying up eventually paid off. After 2 hours, I felt a rush in the back of my spine, followed by a very empty feeling in the left handed side of my brain. I began getting THE MOST intense high I have ever gotten (body wise) from any drug. It was more intense than ecstasy, opioids, K, anything. Or it was like a mix of all of them, I don’t know. ..
It appeared as if my soul was trying to escape by caving my chest outwards. My thinking became cloudy, similar to how my mind gets when stoned, but it was accompanied with a very relaxing body high. In fact, it was so intense that I actually believed that somehow somebody had cut my shit with heroin…keeping in mind I had never done heroin before. (But what’s funny is that months later, when I finally did heroin for the first time, the pleasant body high was EXACTLY what I felt at this time.) I felt myself losing control of my muscles, similar to sleep paralysis, except I was not even ready to sleep. I’m not sure as to what could have caused this, but it happened as I was listening to DJ Tiesto’s “U Write the Rules.” I was mesmerized by the song’s power, and I put it on repeat, and I felt myself slipping into a K-hole, which lasted 6-8 hours. Within that time frame I was only able to move my limbs occasionally. I had literally fallen into a trance, and my eyes fixated on the tunnel of light as a black hole closed up around me.
But even with this tranquil high, having not slept for six days, I appeared extremely irritated to others around me. Naturally, the next action I should have taken would have been to rest and replenish my body. But due to the intensity and length of this high (lasting 6 hours) I no longer even wanted to sleep. All I wanted to do was lie down and enjoy this feeling, so I spent the entire time lying on a bed and staring up at the ceiling, listening to music. I chose ambient trance, as vocals in song seemed to bother me as they did not fit in with the robotic vibe that I was feeling. Only electronic music seemed to be compatible with the extraterrestrial mindset I was in. I preferred a very dreamy, “faraway.” Sound as opposed to hard, vocal, or aggressive.
Staying awake this long makes one feel like a robotic alien or foreign insect, exploring Planet Earth for the first time. My body has merely become a machine, as emotions have completely diminished and my inner self has been torn apart. Feeling apathetic about every situation, it becomes impossible to laugh, cry, or portray any human emotion. As I observe myself in the mirror, my eyes reflect a blank stare, closely resembling that of a zombie or corpse. I am a vampire exploring foreign territory. Even then as I looked in the mirror, I felt as if a piece of my soul had collapsed and turned into a black hole, leaving me with a “dead” look.
Slipping away from reality is kind of fun, in a sense. I am mesmerized by the subtle little things I suddenly can pay attention to, all at the same time. Sleep deprivation from meth…truly the craziest high I’ve ever gotten. Meth binging is really different from any other drug…You must be truly intrigued by losing touch with sanity. You must be mystified with the new alternate dimension of reality you will be presented with. It’s important to be careful when binging, it’s so fun you actually forget to eat, sleep, masturbate, and do other daily tasks. I spent probably $300 on dope for that week alone, fucking sleep deprivation: It’s more whack than crack!
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sounds great ! , like some kind of medically-unknown seizure. you couldve topped it by slipping off into death rigth afterwards but I am glad you didnt !
lol, like a pass out but without the blackout
- Join Date
- Mar 2005
sounds very unhealthy to me with the chest caving outwards, please be careful kandy, settle down a bit, take a break from "the game" it did me great and made meth way better when i started back up RECREATIONALLY, it would do you great, again please be careful kandy, stick to smokin your glass dick, stay off the iv for a lil while peace
p.s sorry if im trippin and u think im an ass
- Join Date
- May 2004
Only the good die young.
Maybe next time something will actually burst out of your chest. Your heart for example, feverishly beating away at such a pace that it just explodes through your rib cage.
Sounds interesting Kandy K. Send me some of your meth, will you?
Good report. Take care and don't die! Keep posting funny stuff.
Hehe, Yeah sleep dep sure can be fucking interesting, yet eerie at the same time. Definately done my share share (and other peoples) of sleep dep and I actually like getting a sleep these days. It seems I've learned how to sleep on a few points of decent speed (or more) and I can even wake up 4-6 hours later still buzzing!
You know what you should of done... Had a weed and nitrous session on the last day and scare yourself to death with a sick seizure or eight.
Word, same here. I sleep on speed all the time hahhahahah so my friends say, and I will sometimes wake up to 3 days later still feeling a lil "something," though it may not be much.
i can really relate to the complete disappearing of emotions.. i become so cold on a lot of speed and no sleep it's scary. my jaw gets so tense i also can't laugh or look sad.
by what you described sounds like you activated kundalini activity (raw energy,snake-like in its shape, it is the core of our being,the core energy of the soul.......in most it lies dormant, what you felt sounds like kundalini waking up and rushing up into your chakras) usually you need stern concentration and indepth meditation to activate it, but drugs, ect can activate it too in some individuals............... look it up, if you can tap back into that power you will be able to do some pretty amazing things.
do a search for kundalini or kundalini awakening
this may help too..................
Kundalini is defined in Yogic terms as "a coiled female snake, the latent energy at the base of the spine." When it awakes or uncoils, in the classical model, via spiritual practices or spontaneously, a subtle energy can be felt streaming upward in the body, emanating from the base of the spine and flowing into the head. Physical and spiritual sensations often accompany the surge of inner energy: spontaneous movements of the body, shaking, heat, spasms, visions, sounds like ringing, bells, drums, and many other symptoms (see the Kundalini Information section of this website for more about symptoms and other models of Kundalini awakenings).
The destiny of this mystical force is said to be an evolutionary leap in one's spiritual consciousness; i.e., full enlightenment (it is claimed by some authorities that it will lead to genius and supernatural powers, though this is conjectural); the initial rising is often preceded by white light in meditation, in dreams, or in the waking state. In some Kundalini awakenings this light can be like "the light of a thousand suns"; to see it suddenly and unexpectedly can jolt one's senses into a state of panic as one feels the familiar boundaries of their consciousness begin to melt into the heart-stopping, radiant immensity of the Absolute.
The initial awakening is usually only a starting point that will not flower fully for most individuals in their lifetimes. Except in rare cases, it takes decades, for the body to be rewired to handle the high-powered wattage of a full-blown Kundalini awakening. All of the physical and spiritual manifestations are said to be the result of the Kundalini energy working it's way through stress blocks and fears that are believed to stand in the way of the completion of this transformational process.
This basic description of Kundalini does not begin to probe the complexity of this subject, or the hazards of trying to force an awakening, but it will give you some idea of what Kundalini is.
Last edited by Angelus; 20-06-2005 at 23:39.
- Join Date
- Aug 2004
Angelus - I was going to mention something like that, it sounds like the "mind awake body asleep" that usually happens just before an OBE. Perhaps the circumstances were perfect for OBE (body dead tired but mind awake enough) for you to experience this.
Angelus: I notice I have much more control over involuntary actions in my body when I am tweaking. Examples are heart rate, skin discoloration, pupil size, etc. Are these related?
I get a similar feeling during sleep paralysis, but more uneasy, like I am falling many stories. Is this the same thing?
Angelus, I have to add one more thing. I notice that whenever I do "body high" drugs, I ALWAYS ALWAYS feel it very deep within the center of my chest, while my other friends feel it in other places, like their head, entire body, or other. What do you think this means?
was there any hallucinations from your sleep deprivation?
Kandy, im not sure about the control over involuntary actions, this may take place through practice. one can learn to take over and control involuntary actions of the body. i can speed up or slow down my heart at will. as far as the sleep paralysis, falling sensation. this is quite common, the sensation of falling is due to your awareness/mind disolving into the very subtle mind that resides at the heart chakra (the center of your chest between your breasts ,when we sleep our mind and energy winds disolve down through the central channel into the heart chakra where they reside during sleep). having awarness of this (usually brought on by meditation, but the imbalances sleep deprevation/drugs can create can result in some temporary heightened awarness) will cause you to feel like you are falling (in reality your mind is sort of falling through the body into the lower areas) and also the sensation of wind or a rushing wind sound.
to answer you second questions, we all have different affinities for different chakras in our own bodies. yours must be for the heart chakra, so when you take drugs your heart chakra becomes more active in the others.
hope this helps
Last edited by Angelus; 22-06-2005 at 00:20.
You know, I've always thought that I was more in touch with my heart than anywhere else. Everytime I feel emotions, they always sprout from the inner core of my chest, and everytime I crave drugs, that is where the pain is felt...
Mad Out Of It: I do not ever hallucinate from sleep deprivation from meth. Only when I combine it with any other drug that affects dopamine--whether it be pot, cocaine, crack, whatever, only then do I actually trip out.
- Join Date
- Mar 2005
A few times on about 5-7 grams of mushrooms I would get this intense rushing through my body, really euphoric.
The first time this happened was about a year and a half ago and recently I discovered that anytime I want I can make this rushing happen through my body. I don't really know what I do to make it happen but it's kinda like I'm pushing the feeling from my lower body up or something.
Does anyone else ever get this??
Yes. I learned to control it after long-term ecstasy and meth use.
You can get it by listening or seeing or thinking something related to a past memory that was somewhat intense or real.
dont worry about your heart...the "pain" you feel there, i'll wager 98% on, is actually coming from your stomach.
or at least that's what i've learned...(i'm saying this cause you say you were already down from meth...and...i've never done meth...but like when i get stoned, i used to worry about my heart, but over the course of this past year i realized it was actually just my stomach telling me i am hungry)
oh, and the state you describe actually sounds a lot like things i've felt at the tail ends of psychedelic trips
altho i guess i wasn't AS worn out, but yea...
damn i want to trip now