I've been in recovery for the past 9 months. I've been on suboxone the entire time. Went down to 2mgs, had some very bad problems due to my bipolar, & went back up to 8mgs. I've been on the 8mgs now for two months. I "graduated" the intensive outpatient program at the "Vince Carter Sanctuary" in Bunnell, Florida after 16 weeks of being there. After that, I entered a bridge program with a social support group. This entire time, I've been paying anywhere from 150-200 dollars to see me doctor..every 2 weeks..sometimes every week. I am also paying for (well, we obv share our money) my fiance' who is going through the same thing..minus the mental illness. Three weeks ago, I saw my doctor and he put me back into the IOP program..which is another 200 dollars. I paid, realized I didnt have the money and gas to get to group 3x a week. I've been through some real horrible times with these people over money. If you don't have the money..they are not very nice. Being a rehab, and being there for 9 months..I just kinda expected them to not be assholes to me..boy was I wrong. I had to miss my appt tuesday due to not having the funds. They found me a medicaid covered doctor to see and sent me away.
Heres the problem, The doctor they sent me to will see my Fiance' on OCT 17th and Me on oct 27th. This wouldnt be a problem, except I am already out of my medications. I am lucky and get my mental health medications through a mental health program called Stuart Marchmen. But my suboxone, I will no longer be able to get.
What I was wondering is..when I see the new doctor Im going to piss clean..I just don't really see the point in going, but I do not feel like Im ready to be off my suboxone. Part of me really wants to say fuck it and just go out and use again..but I dont want to. I don't know what to do at this point. I know 9 months is a long time to be on suboxone, but I've had a long hard road and Im just not ready to be off of it. I've had relapses and slip ups and god, I dont want to go back out there again.
I just needed somewhere to type this..because no one around me could ever possibly understand this. Everyone just tells me to "get over it"..well, Im not "over it"
Im just scared.
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- Join Date
- Sep 2010
- daytona beach, florida
Listen, I've been on suboxone for over two years now, I have bipolar as well and trust me I understand it sucks.
I can't get off my suboxone I've been trying to for a while - I'm down to about 2mgs a day myself (supposed to be taking 8mgs) but it's gotten very hard for me.
I know all about the money too... it's horrible. I pay $200 just to walk in the door to get my medications... my suboxone and my klonopin I really need so I can't just not pay one month and get by... it's not a fun situation let's just put it at that.
I would do anything to get off this crap, and I'm trying, I wish you luck and I hope you can stay away from it and please whatever you do do not go back to using opiates... 9 months is a long time my friend, it would be really sad to watch someone fall back to such a bad addiction that can ultimately kill you.
- Join Date
- Sep 2010
- daytona beach, florida
Thank you..you have no idea how nice it is to hear from someone who understands. Every time I've tried to get off the suboxone..my bipolar rushes in and craps all over me. I really don't want to go back out. The methadone clinic has a suboxone program and I think I am going to go and do that until I can see my new doctor. Luckily, I get my seroquel and other meds through a different program, but when I see my new doctor next month I will be able to get everything through one doctor. My "addiction" doctor at the rehab tried to treat it..and God, horrible idea. The high dose of Seroquel xr helps..sometimes. But I miss having something to take when things just get REALLY bad. I recently had to quit my job due to my anxiety making me throw up at work. I am really happy to finally have a doctor who is willing to treat my opiate addiction and work on my bipolar. Being stable sounds so good.
Awesome 2 years! Congrats on that! And thank you again for what you said..I really, really, needed that.
No problem. If for some reason you think seroquel isn't doing it for you, you should ask about lamictal (lamotrigine) which is what I've been taking and it does help my bipolar much more than seroquel ever did - seroquel just turns you into a zombie... I'm not your doctor nor am I staring at your drug history record or medical records but just take some time and look it up and see if it may be better for you.
Trust me numbing your life out with other drugs doesn't work (not saying you are), I've been trying for a very long time, and I've given up on finding that one drug that will just make life "OK" - there is no such thing. You need to be motivated and focused and even though that isn't me right now, I want to be there so I'm trying.
Well you should definently quit suboxone, and the way you do that is by not taking it. I stayed on it for about 1.5 years, after a straight year I got sick of taking it. Went from 8mg's a day to 4mg's a day then just quit. The best part is after about 2 weeks you'll be feeling alot better, and after a few months you'll forget you were ever on it. And as a added bonus you wont have to pay for suboxone anymore, which is so expensive.
You just need to remember that you will have to go through suboxone withdrawal no matter what, there's really no way of getting around it. Unless you feel like taking a full agonist. Then like I said after 2 weeks you'll be done, and you wont have to put that discusting pill under your tongue ever again.
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
- Northeastern USA
Jesus I took 24 mg of Suboxone for four years--I must be a real wack job.
Fuck the rehab program if they are blowing you shit. That's a lot of money. Have you tried NA or AA? You may get more out of that as opposed to an IOP program, especially after nine months.
Have you talked to your doctor about your financial situation?