I recently had a thought.
Have you ever felt the resonant regret of not bringing forth an issue plaguing your mind only to later replay the scene with a different outcome?
Have you ever been in a situation where you were emotionally scarred, hurt deeply and bottled it up?
This thread is for everyone to use
Use this to release pent up emotion and say the things you never did or could say to the person that hurt you most. Get it all out in here.
I promise you, after carefully wording a letter of reprimand to that someone who emotionally wounded you and disrespected you, you will feel better. You can then even show it to them if you feel it appropriate.
We have all been hurt in the past and if you would like to join in and conjure up the words you feel need to be said to try and release some of the pain, then please write something. You may feel like a weight has been lifted off you.
If nobody wants to and the thread dies on it's ass, that's fine too! Even if this could serve just one person's well-being, I will be a happy man.
I shall write mine soon I would just like to see a couple of responses first, to see if anyone wants to join in.
This is just a special place to let go of any pent up frustration and articulate or de-wire your bundle of highly-charged emotions.
All the best, everyone
Results 1 to 9 of 9
- Join Date
- Aug 2010
When I met you I was crazy in love. I was infatuated with the idea of you being clean and being able to control your usage. Just when I let down my walls which you worked so hard to bring down, you did exactly what I had been protecting myself from for so long. I had already been through the same thing with my father, and I never could have imagined that one day you would remind me of him. I always felt that you were the best I could do. I let you walk all over me. The first time it happened I told myself...this was a one time thing, it won't happen again. And it happened again, over and over and over. You fucking cheated on me and I am so angry that I let you continue on your train of terror. I finally came to my senses, a night after drunken arguments and a black eye was enough. Enough was finally enough. Because of the way you treated me, I had no knowledge, help, or experience on how to cope. I kept my secrets from everyone with this fantasy persisting in the back of my head of us living in a Eutopia where you wouldnt let your substance abuse change you. I took my recreational drug use to a whole other level, I remember the day after the fight precisely, it was the beginning to my benzo (xanax to be exact) 'binge' which I never disconitued. The beginning to my seemingly everlasting hell. Even when I was constantly high I thought about you everyday, wondering how you were doing. I worried, and still worry that you will not gain back your balance and that I won't ever see you on this Earth again. It will always, always bring me to tears. I wondered how I could change you so that you would become the person you are when you are clean. You brought my hopes up of what I knew you could be and crushed them to see you drink and become so angry and violent. I always knew in my heart you were special and that you were going to make a huge impact on my life, and you did, negatively in so many ways. I still have this voice in my head reminding me of all the nice things you did- the person you are when you are sober. I know this wasnt you, you arent capable of hurting someone without a foreign influence. And it saddens me. I also have flashbacks- of the beautiful memories we shared together, they are forever embedded in my being. And though you hurt me, I will always have love for you because I know in my heart that you're spirit has good intentions, and though you have gone down an ugly, awful path in your life I have beenable to forgive you. I understand, I know that once your are so far gone you don't consider who you are hurting in the process of satisfying your addiction. Now that I have met someone who treats me wonderfully and has me on a pedestal, I can only wish that you find yourself and get clean. I would love to get back in touch when you do so, but I cannot even give thought of us ever being life partners again-the pain of losing you due to health complications would be too much. I have been working on myself and I still struggle today to let the feelings of resentment go. I wish nothing but the best for you, and most importantly that you find your own peace.
You're a dick.
You lack the ability to apologize for something that offends someone because you play it off as - "Oh, I'm sorry - I'm just trying to have a good fucking time." Fuck you. You self-absorbed, prick. When I'm around you, my mood and chemistry changes because I'm weary of how you're going to be and what you might say.
This won't last much longer.
Sex Love and Relationships
Electronic Music Discussion
- Join Date
- Oct 1999
I survived you.
Well... Thanks for the most miserable 8 months of my life, as iv said I hope you get what you deserve! Every waking day I pray for you.... I pray you get eaten by a giant squid, I pray you get raped by a pack of stray dogs, I pray the good lord takes you in your sleep!
You are a genuinly bad person, bad to your cold black core! I dont know what I ever saw in you, you lied to me, made out you were pregnant, all sorts! I believe in karma.... In fact! I will pay karma to ruin your sorry excuse of a life! I hope all ur future bfs just getwith you because they know your an easy lay. I hope after theyve shot their load in you and walked off you feel usd like a cheap whore! You played me like a cheap fiddle and I wish you the worst in life and the future - fuck off! Xx
- Join Date
- Nov 2010
- Floating across the civilization / simplicity continuum.
Can this be in general too, instead of just SLR material?
I was hurt by you. I left myself open to you and you let me down. Now I'm trying to heal and start over. Please, be safer next time. Never take your body for granted. Desire is only a mindset and suffering is only an illusion you create for yourself.
These are all very beautifully written indeed.
You were supposed to be there for me, the person for me to trust and for me to look up to, hell, for me to brag about to my friends and be proud of.
My only feeling when I think about you is fucking fear.
Every single day I imagine what life would have been like if it had been different. I look at my friends and how they take it for granted. I look at how stable and confident they seem, how carefree and able to get on in life they are. Nothing holds them back. They can't understand why the fuck I can't be like them. I ask myself the same thing.
Then I feel pathetic for laying blame on you and what you were like. I should be strong enough to get past this, "oh it was 10 years ago since you last saw them, why do you still fucking care?" so my friends say. I tell myself to man the fuck up.
You never gave 2 shits about me, so why should I give 1 about you? I even try and form a petty excuse for you, I say "It was because you were too young" and "I would have done the same thing" or "It was only the drink" but really, you were just a cunt.
Every day my mother sees you in me. The way you look, talk, your impulsive stupidity. I know it makes her resent me, she wouldn't treat me how she does otherwise. I feel ashamed when I look in the mirror not only because we look so alike, but I try and tell myself it wasn't my fault and I know it just was.
I feel like an attention-seeking bastard even mentioning any of this and feel like I should be able to get past it. I find it humiliating and degrading that I let this get to me so much. I never suffered the way I have in recent years until you started being the way you were. I always felt like I should be that super-confident and well-rounded guy that I see in everyone else, but I can't seem to make it work.
Fuck, even to this day I feel god damn scared, alone and almost submissive to most people, especially any fucking male older than me. I'm a nervous wreck compared to anybody I know. I don't know anybody who FLINCHES LIKE FUCK when even their best friend goes to pat them on the head or eve greet them. I walk around feeling like everyone is a fucking threat and to be on my guard all the god damn time. I never did let that go.
I can't even begin to describe to you the fear I felt every single day. I begged the school to let me stay behind, I knew what was coming when I got home. Everyone I knew couldn't wait to get home, but it was one of the worst places I could imagine being when I shoulda been a happy-go-lucky cheerful fucking kid.
I always tried to impress you and be as good as I could, but it never was good enough. The amount of shit this has stopped me doing is unreal. I tried to block all this shit up with enough drink and drugs to kill several armies and it was the pathetic way out. The kind of expectation you had for me.
One of the worst parts is, I could have gone far in football my real passion but you fucking took my favourite thing in the world from me.
I feel fucking humiliated to admit any of this and try to blame you for how I turned out, but I became a shell of a person after what I went through at your hands. I know you don't give a shit. I just pray that one day, I can actually get past this and be a confident fucking person.
^ aw, man. that resonates so much with me. many hugs to you. i hope one day you can let go of the anger. while you may be stunted from the trauma you experienced, you are not incapable of being an awesome person worthy of wonderful things. it took me sometime, but as i've gotten into my late 20s, i decided i wouldn't allow what happened to hold me back any longer. and you know, as strange as this sounds, i sort of appreciate those tough times. thankfully, i recognize what happened as abuse and because i experienced the wrong, when i become a parent, i feel more determined to do it right. silver lining n' all. best of luck to you.
Last edited by Fawkes; 22-09-2011 at 02:15.